I have words and feelings that are bursting to be let out.
So I’m letting them out. Maybe.
So I’m letting them out. Maybe.
lately, i am noticing how much i keep bottled up inside me, how much i live in my head.
i had to answer a prompt for my tutor a few weeks ago: why do you write? and my answer was, at the time, “cause i like it.” but i’m realizing that i write because sometimes my mouth won’t open to form the words i need or want to say. sometimes it just won’t work. i second guess myself when i speak. i don’t (as much) when i write. when i write, and i’m writing for myself, i am as honest as i can possibly be. when i speak, i’m not dishonest, but i hide things. i lose track of things. the words become jumbled up somewhere between my brain and my tongue, because suddenly i’ll think “oh shit is that not appropriate? what are they going to think if i say that?” and i don’t say it. i really really really wish i could be different. things would be easier if i could just say what i needed to say.
